I recently learned that A&E, the cable television network, is proposing a new reality television series called “Stain Hunters.” The show would follow the misadventures of a group of professional maids (think Merry Maids) as they scour Chicago or St. Louis searching for the worst possible stains, miscolorations, smells, etc. in carpeting, furniture, clothes, bathrooms, etc.
This follows on the successful franchises in a similar vein where specialists descend on a home to clear out accumulated junk, to pawn their earthly belongings to support a gambling habit, where organizational managers help people red up their homes, where home specialists slap paint onto cheap wood assemblages to make it look passably elegant on standard definition teleivions or where dumpster divers look for lost treasure. This is sure to be a moderate hit surviving at least two to three seasons and will fit comfortably in the existing lineup. “Stain Hunters” will include a closing tip each episode on ways to either avoid stains or a “secret” insider, pro tip as how to get out a particular type of stain.
You think I’m kidding. You’re pretty sure. But you’re not totally sure. Are you?